Birthdays are merely symbolic of how another
year has gone by and how little we've grown.
— Jerry Seinfeld
We started precisely one year ago, with double the postforce and ten times the financial expertise, with an initial grand plan and a statement of direction. Our accomplishments have been properly enumerated already. There is only one principle which we followed dependably: "We fully embrace capitalism on a good day in the markets, but tend to lean somewhat towards the other side on correction days." On chequebook-balancing days as well.
A one-year old is not too smart, but quite moody, irascible, and not yet potty trained. For the party, we decided a few anagrams will do. Tried this once or twice before and it calmed him down.
To start with, a few semiprofound caveats: the stock markets are a treacherous trek to smacks. Exchange-traded funds in general translate into one sexed, hand-crafted gun, though we weren't necessarily thinking of the leveraged variety. Dividend stocks anagram to odd dick invests. Not an endorsement...
A couple of things we were already aware of: mutual fund MER anagrams to fraudulent mum, while resource action (another way to be shown the door) anagrams to mild, cute coronaries. There is no other kind. Note that if we use the plural, as in a bit more massive layoffs, it gets cuter: resource actions anagram to coarse neurotics, which explains what my wise friend kindly calls the Losers' Forum — a necessary gathering place for a bit of venting and commiserating, frequented by those who are a bit on their way out. Generally speaking, reader discretion is advised here. We like peeking in such odd places, and recall a posting or two which made us chuckle. Someone determined he was due a higher severance, but was charitable: "The four weeks they stole from me will go to helping a needy executive." A comment to an article elsewhere but referenced in this forum, about a US kick-back scandal, suggests: "We should change the oath our elected officials take when entering office to the Miranda rights. It will save time in the long run."
Finally, we believe that there definitely must be some hidden truth in this anagramation method: a balanced portfolio is indeed cool and profitable, while ft, posting for one year is revealed as a stooping effrontery.
They say of me, and so they should,
It's doubtful if I come to good.
I see acquaintances and friends
And making enviable names
In science, art, and parlor games.
But I, despite expert advice,
Keep doing things I think are nice,
And though to good I never come -
Inseparable my nose and thumb!
— Dorothy Parker (who also published "Death
and Taxes", 1931), Neither Bloody Nor Bowed
Còrdas d'Albigés. A place, and a name, we probably merely dreamed of... So too did our friend Theo, a wizard with the camera and at discovering remnants of Heaven. Albert Camus: "In Cordes, everything is beautiful, even regret."
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I prepared my Income Tax form today, and reflected that it costs me just about as much to be a Canadian as it would to be an Englishman, and twice as much as it would cost me to be an American. — Robertson Davies, The Table Talk of Samuel Marchbanks